Favorite celebrity

“She’s basically perfect. I want to be her. Actually I am her. I’m her reincarnation.”
“Did you get a receipt for that?”
“A what?”
“A receipt. For the reincarnation.”
“No, but she died three days before I was born. How long does it usually take?”
“About one to five business days.”
“Perfect!”

“Oh right. If she’s basically perfect, then you’re probably not her. Sorry.”
“Are you implying that I’m not perfect?”
“It’s just that perfect people are so rare that they’d probably take more than five days to get her through the bureaucracy. Can’t make any mistakes with someone like that. And you were only three days apart. So you can’t be her.”
“I’m sure what you mean to say is, the bureaucracy would get her through quickly so she gets first pick of who she wants to be next.”
“No, there’s no shortage of new people. She wouldn’t normally be in a hurry to reincarnate; she’ll just pick from whoever was just born when her paperwork goes through.”

“But she might try to be reborn as soon as possible?”
“Maybe if there’s someone that she really wants to be. If she’s as perfect as you say, they might rush things if she asks.”
“So she is me.”
“Um… Maybe?”
“You said that if she wants to she could be reborn in just three days. So she’s me!”
“Well, you were born on a Tuesday. She died on a Saturday, so she would have had to go through the entire process on Monday. Doing the whole thing in one day is really rare.”
“But it has happened?”
“Well yes. I think some of the Dalai Lamas even get reborn instantly. Even if they do have to make their selection ahead of time.”
“So three days could be plenty long enough.”
“It could, but that would be expensive. Do you have any idea how much karma the bribes cost to speed up the bureaucracy?”
“But she’s perfect. She’s got karma to spare. So that wouldn’t be a problem either.”

“Well, I suppose it’s theoretically possible that someone who is both famous and perfect might have decided that you were her favorite out of all her fans who were about to be born, and then gone through a lot of trouble to make sure she could be you. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?”
“Would she really want to be you that badly?”
“Of course. Wouldn’t you?”
“Uh…”

Based on a real conversation. Probably apocryphal.

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